Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Maybe he injected his testicle?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
