I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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