one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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