i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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