i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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