She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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