HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
