nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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