Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
