His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
