HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
