That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
