I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
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But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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