I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
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I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.