I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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