Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.