i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms