I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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