i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.