Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
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holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
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I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?