I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i already hear my dad disowning me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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