I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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