hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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