So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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