if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
