I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
