You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
