My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
