Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
