That's when you crack a 10am beer
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
