I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
