His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
