strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
40s are totally the cure
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
