I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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