Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
