i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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