I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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