you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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