Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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