Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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