I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
