after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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