And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
