remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
