I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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