When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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