I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
