when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
