she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
