I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
