I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I did not marry a roomba.
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