Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
