i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
