bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
