I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
