Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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