i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
