wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
