thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
