Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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