He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize