I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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