dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
