you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
