ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
