he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
