oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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